I’m Running for President
by Tim Davis
JConcepts Staff Writer
As most of you know, and certainly any of you that have visited my Ormond Beach home – I have an ongoing battle with my neighbors and home owners association concerning my Dollar Weed issue – Matt has suggested me buying a 7 foot tall fiberglass Rooster/Cock and placing it in the center of my yard. I feel that while that may be a good idea, and will surely result in a great laugh – it is more Mosieur-like – and not quite my style.
After my last encounter with the home-owners president, which resulted in my laughing at her – not as much for her insane requests, but also for purchasing a Dodge Caliber(has anyone seen the depreciation on that?), I feel like I need to take this to a whole new level.
I’m thinking that maybe I need to run for the presidency. We have two groups in the neighborhood – the over and under 45 crowd – I think I have the under 45’s locked up. My campaign manager, Mr. Matthew Mosieur is doing a preliminary canvas of the neighborhood to see what my support base may be. He has reported to me just yesterday that his initial estimate of 2 weeks to complete this survey is not nearly long enough – early reports are the single moms in the area are taking much longer to interview than he though. If anyone would like to contribute any ideas to this effort, feel free to contact Mr. Mosieur, and he can place you on the exploratory committee. Spots are filling up fast, forward all resumes’ with a recent head shot to email@example.com, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
In the meantime, I just got quote for a local landscaper to have this created – $250 for the first time, and an additional $40/month to maintain its shape. I requested that they allow the ass of the figure to continue to get larger and more defined as time goes by – I’m planning a joint unveiling of this landscaping along with the press conference announcing my candidacy.
I’ll keep you all posted –